GOD'S LOVE AND MERCY
My first contact with Mormon missionaries was in February
1971. I was born in Buffalo, N.Y. 1930, but grew up in Germany:
1933 - 1947. Baptized and confirmed at fourteen in the only church
in town which was a Lutheran church of the real Martin Luther.
At sixteen, I returned to the U.S. without my family. Seven years
later they all came back to America and rebuilt their lives.
When I met the Mormons all I knew about Mormonism
was an article I had read about their puritan lifestyles. I was
looking for a church which was practicing Christianity in their
lives not only going through the motions.
After a third attempt by the same young men, impressed
with their diligence, I let them in. I was forty at the time
at the lowest point of my life. I had recommitted my life to
Christ Jesus five months prior to this particular day and was
virtually waiting to join a church. I felt safe and trusted in
God that he would lead me to the right church. That is apparently
not what happens in real life.
As a family, we were impressed with their presentation,
especially "Family Home Evening", their willingness
to accept sinners and promises that we could achieve a hundred
percent worthiness. The missionaries emphasized the name of the
church, that they were the only church worthy of the name of
I felt like I had finally come home, it felt so right after
baptism. They said that we were as pure as angels after that. The
church always needing hands, I found myself with four different
jobs right away. I became part of church life quickly and loved
being so accepted. That was something I had never experienced
Soon my selfesteem was restored. Our life started working.
My husband and I found the kind of jobs we had long hoped for
not through the church. We were reaping fruit of our own
labor. Going through college for many years, I landed a job in
state government. This good fortune coincided with participation
in the Mormon church and I tied all this new found success to
Why was I led into Mormonism? There were several factors
responsible for this. I found out over twenty years later that
my husband's mother had a desire for her son to become a member
of the Mormon church. The family were supposedly Baptist. In
fact we were married in their Baptist church. She had died long
before we joined.
Another reason was the fact that my ancestary in Europe
were in politics for hundreds of years and many belonged to Masonic
Lodges which had an effect on my life. My husband's parents were
also involved in Masonic organizations such as Eastern Star and
the Elks Lodge.
In addition to that, long before entering the LDS church,
I had studied every imaginable movement ending in the New Age
movement. Touching base with occuItism, I had realized the dangers
of those teachings and had abandoned them for the Gospel. The
problem was, I had not studied the WORD OF GOD to wash me of
these satanic beliefs and these occult (secret) teachings lined
up with Mormonism and therefore reaffirmed the false doctrines.
Mormons teach that their beliefs are the only truth
and they had me convinced that they had additional revelation
which turned out to be simply occultism - gnosticism - ancient
philosophy developed by ancient Masons, Knights, the Enlightened
Ones who believe in Isis, Osiris and Horus.
Through people's suggestions, I was tossed here and there.
In my journey through the various beliefs all seemed to have
selfish ends and I could not make them coincide with my own Christian
foundation which was supposed to be founded in selfless service
Mormonism seemed to answer my demand for perfectionism.
By then from reading through all the different religions, I had
developed a different god. I had a problem with hell. I couldn't
accept a God who wanted to put people into a burning fire. I
believed people were all basically good which is what New Age
teaches. Evolution had crept in which wasn't taught in Germany
at all. Mormonism seemed to cover all the problem areas I had
developed and matched the "New Age" ideas that had
crept into my fundamental Christianity perfectly.
The Church of Latter-day Saints of Jesus Christ was a universe
in itself segregated from the rest of the world. They were self
contained. People were doing business with each other rather
than going to regular outlets. They helped each other in time
of need by taking over where a person had problems until they
were resolved. They had their own employment counselor. It seemed
like they thought of everything. They had wonderful programs
for kids, teens, men and women. I got involved in genealogy which
opened new exciting doors and there seemed to be no end to new
opportunities for new adventures. Everything seemed absolutely
Evil in my mind was supposed to be bloody, oppressive and
gory. I was looking for that not realizing that Lucifer is an
"angel of his own light". The membership was sophisticated.
Lawyers, doctors, policemen, accountants, realtors, insurance
agents, etc. were educated and intelligent. Men were extremely
conservative and I appreciated men not making passes at me.
I was impressed and proud to be a member. What better way
to become part of America than to join a strong church. Many
foreigners gravitate to Mormonism because it becomes a substitute
family for them.
Eternal marriage in the temple becomes the goal of most
Mormons and to do it does seem to deepen the relationship between
a husband and wife. The thought of being together for eternity
has an effect on today. The requirements one must meet to
be endowed at the temple became an immediate issue.
My husband had been raised in poverty and for
him to give up ten percent of his gross income seemed impossible.
It wasn't a problem for me. I wanted to please my Lord in any
way I could and this seemed to be an opportunity.
With all the activities I had no time to study Mormonism.
What I learned was what I picked up out of conversations among
members. I was teaching the Junior Sunday School classes and
coordinator over the whole Sunday School and one day, after years
of teaching, I took it upon myself to teach the Lord's Prayer,
which was not part of the lesson material from Salt Lake City.
That was a "no, no". The kids must have told their
parents because I was released from teaching without explanation
never to be recalled as a teacher again.
I was given the secretary job in Sunday School which meant
I could participate in the adult Sunday school classes.
As I listened and participated in the lessons I realized
that my beliefs did not agree with theirs. Not really having
much understanding of Mormonism I had a vague feeling of uneasiness
and found myself sorting what I heard and rationalizing that
they were going to get the truth one of these days.
The Scripture they pulled from the Bible was meticulously
geared to coincide with Mormonism mostly from the Old Testament,
so one got the impression, that their teachings were biblical.
It was always out of context. I noticed other converts having
the same problems, they would stop coming to the doctrine class
after being demoralized when asking questions. This was the practice
to make them stop the questions. Approximately 70% of Mormons
don't attend Sunday School classes.
One day a bishop suggested I get a divorce
because we had not progressed to the
temple. I was quite surprised that a bishop would
suggest such a thing.
My children informed me that they were not going
to prepare for missions. I agreed that their decision would
be alright since God believes in choice. I could not participate
in forcing issues. It did not seem Christian to me.
When three year old children came to the podium to give
their testimonies, that they believed the church is the only
true church, something inside me always stirred, how would they
know at that age? I also noticed a grieving in my heart every
Sunday during the Sacrament (Holy Communion). They had sacrament
of bread and water during which a prayer was given in the name
of Jesus Christ every Sunday. I thought maybe I was identifying
with Christ, but found after I left Mormonism, the grieving totally
In 1980 I met a former Mormon. After sharing my misgivings
and the lack of real teaching in the church with her, she simply
suggested listening to a TV minister who happens to be one of
the most potent television evangelist today and I found out long
after Mormonism that his doctrine coincides with Mormonism. Strangely
enough I began getting some gospel concepts in spite of it.
But the fog remained. In spite of this new influence on
Sundays, I was endowed in Salt Lake City at the temple in 1983
and married my husband for time and eternity.
The Temple experience was a major turning point.
Members are under oath not to share information about the
temple. One has no idea what to expect. I had misgivings
because of the secrecy, it is not Christ like. It was impossible
to get any information about the temple ahead of time. They did
give a preparation class to tell us what to buy since we would
be wearing new garments permanently and how to care for them.
Everything seemed very holy.
When the doors closed behind us and the ceremony began
in the temple in Salt Lake City, I knew something had gone wrong.
I wanted to scream out loud, it was so hideous. Because of my
previous involvement with New Age, I knew I was suddenly in the
middle of Freemasonry. I was familiar with Ancient Masonry. I
had rejected all that before. I felt totally betrayed.
My husband and I also found ourselves committed
lock, stock and barrel (our home, our savings, our talents
and our eternal future) to the Mormon church without
being asked ahead of time. They called it the law of consecration.
I was furious. I should have left but in the presence of people
whom I had loved and respected for twelve years, I could
not refuse to participate.
I had relied on other people's testimonies. We as members
were highly educated and people of integrity. How could I admit
to myself anything different. I reasoned it has to be alright
if they believed it. There was nothing evil being said or done,
although I could not understand some of the words,
symbolism and rituals. But deep down in my heart I knew I
was still stuck in Satan's teachings.
A couple of years later an inactive member gave me a revealing
book: "Mormon Enigma: Emma Hale Smith", by Linda King
Newell and Valeen Tippets Avery, which was my first encounter
with Joseph Smith and who he really was. Joseph was not a Christian
but a practicing witch. The story was about his wife Emma who
had eleven children by him and what she went through with all
his adulterous relationships while married and her lack of basic
necessities because of his philandering.
He was arrested several times, once for treason and was
ambushed and killed in jail finally by a lynch mob. Some think
it was about all the women he was stealing from husbands and
other men and some think it was because he was adopting Masonic
rituals into his church. Nobody knows for sure. He was not martyred
for his Christianity which Mormons teach.
The next discovery was on a visit when I tried
to witness to someone. I found that I could not go
to Scripture to back up what I was trying to teach to someone.
I realized after eighteen years of going steady with the
LDS church I had not learned anything. I began studying the Bible
on my own. In fact I brought it to church on Sunday. Instead
of listening to their family presentations, I studied in the
pew. I wondered why they were looking daggers at me.
This action which was not condoned unbeknownst to me began
a series of harassments. They began to demoralize me in front
of the members in class by telling me that I wasn't spelling
correctly and not doing my voluntary job right. Nobody but the
top layer gets paid for their services and only approximately
25% of the church members do voluntary service. It wasn't that
they were swamped with people. I worked in the Genealogical Library
for ten years once a week where the same action was going on.
Then one day my life took a new direction. One of my sons
came too close to Scientology, I asked God to allow me to do
a ministry which addressed Scientology and exposed it. No one
seemed to talk about the dangers of it.
Through my job I had encountered a bout with "Est"
Training which is an offspring of Scientology and luckily escaped
the "whole" treatment. I recognized what they were
trying to do as soon as the doors locked behind me. I came close
to committing suicide, I was so frightened after half the session
was over. They warned me if I left halfway through, it could
be devastating for me. I trusted God and got in my car and left
town to get away from them. The people in charge of the training
tried to track me down but unsuccessfully.
They were right, I came close to loosing it, in hysterics
all by myself in the car driving as fast as I could to get away.
When I returned to my job, people who had talked me into going
to the "eST" Training, harassed me into coming back
into it. I reported this problem to my boss. He fired the ladies.
There were others who kept it up but there was no way they could
influence me again. I transferred to another job away from the
Werner Erhard had participated in Scientology and learned
how to process people into selling these weekend retreats to
others for $300- $600 per person and very convincingly through
peer pressure on the job. Scientology treats one person at a
time while Werner Erhard applied the process to 300 people in
one room over two weekends in conference rooms in places like
the Ramada Inn in Denver. Werner got rich very quickly. At $75,000,000
he was wanted for income tax evasion and left the country.
The process was done by locking the doors with guards,
humiliating people in front of everyone around them, depriving
them of necessities like going to the bathroom and taking a drink,
making them sit in their chair for hours without food and then
parading them in front a group of people who had been robbed
of their personalities and stared people down. People were screaming
in sheer terror all over the room.
Then they told everyone to lay down on the floor and started
ocean waves with information that was not recognizable. I stopped
up my ears with my fingers and prayed. I felt like I had landed
in a demon haven in hell. They let us go about 4 AM and told
us to come back next weekend to finish up. By then I was hysterical.
It was poring rain outside. I got into the car and headed out
of town. It took a few days to calm down.
Life resumed and I had a hard time understanding why these
sort of activities are allowed. Unsuspecting people get caught
up in these types of situations and nobody talks about it. I
had asked 8 people to talk about it and share what was going
on but nobody would tell me. The reason for that, they didn't
remember. At that time I wasn't burdened to go public because
I needed my job. I had a well paying government job.
From the gospel lessons in my private life a desire to get totally
involved in ministry emerged. I was close to retirement and somehow
I was developing a double life. I believed I could do both, Mormonism
and The Lord's ministry.
It never occurred to me to leave the Mormon
church. My problem was that I had not studied Mormon doctrine
in depth. I knew bits and pieces out of context which lined up
with the Old Testament, even polygamy. It was not until
1991 and several more major revelations that I finally could
not deny the truth anymore.
The book "The Mormon Illusion", by Floyd C. McElveen,
a Baptist Evangelist, was sitting all by itself in a Bible bookstore.
I was purchasing a non Mormon Bible for someone and noticed the
little book. Floyd put the facts to me and confronted me with
the truth about Mormonism and what the Bible had to say next
to it. It finally cut through to my heart and the darkness of
But it wasn't over yet. I had been studying Scriptures
for four years by reading it unto tapes and then playing the
tapes to myself in the car in my own words. I was an auditor
and traveled every day from business to business. Mormons study
the Bible in their classes by taking Scripture out of context,
one never gets an understanding of the truth. In fact a Christian
is slowly spiritually starved.
I was always listening to "Christian" television
evangelist along with Mormonism. They had the same problem. They
also preached out of context concentrating on areas that would
tickle people's ears "blessings of one kind or another"
and said little about the most important warning in the Bible:
wolves in sheep's clothing.
My problem wasn't only Mormonism, I had read through just
about every movement in the mainstream and kept searching. I
knew that I hadn't arrived at the truth and kept moving on. Then
in Mormonism I got caught up in their legalism and mistook it
for the real thing. I knew that Jesus had done it all and when
Mormons laid their legalism on me, I figured they were behind
in their Christianity and would get the point at some point.
I couldn't quite put my finger on the problem because I didn't
understand their teachings.
I had committed to Christ Jesus at fourteen when I was
confirmed in Germany. There was only one church in town and it
was Lutheran. I came to this country and there were thousands
of different denominations and many different Lutheran denominations.
The question was always which is the one for me? Joseph geared
into that by telling people that he had the same experience at
a very young age. When Joseph prayed to God, God told him that
it is none of the denominations, to start a new one. That was
the connecting point.
Being a rather timid soul, I couldn't get the courage to
go to a church door by myself. Mormons know that one. They come
and pick you up on Sunday and personally take you across that
I am totally convinced from my own life with the Holy Spirit
in my heart, that the light is indestructible. It kept burning
right along and reminding me who I was and did not allow anyone
else to occupy. I'm also convinced from my own life that one
who has made a total commitment to God becomes the object of
The Bible was always there but it was the last thing that
was opened over the years. God allows us to get deeper and deeper
into false doctrine because we are in rebellion with the Bible
if we ignore His Word which holds the truth. False doctrines
move into the vacum and place us into a delusion, a life which
is not based on reality. The biggest culprits are the `Power
of Positive Thinking', astrology, New Age and Mormonism. They
create an altered state of consciousness which is not based on
With God anything is possible but it's not a given. It
is doing what He tells us to do. I was so hooked on Mormonism
that it felt like I was on a huge "safe" ocean liner
and I was asked to get into a life boat in the middle of the
ocean in a storm. No other ship in sight.
The final scene was about to occur when my husband was
demoralized by the bishop and decided to quit the church. That
was six month before I got the courage to get into that little
life boat. When I climbed into the life boat in full knowledge
of what I was doing, God became as real to me as my hand. In
my heart I knew He would see me through one more storm and that
I would be safe once and for all time at last. Heart and mind
are two different things. My mind was still full of doubt.
Satan doesn't let go easy. I wasn't convinced that I was
making the right decision even though I had been confronted and
had been studying for several years. There was no one I could
go to with my problem. People were not too happy to have me in
their church being a former Mormon and my enemy began bringing
unsavory people into my life who were not truly committed to
the Gospel and had worse problems than I did.
Everything that came after seemed to break away from under
me as quickly as I had found it. The enemy keeps us unsettled,
upset to get us to come back. The Bishop and two elders came
to the house and told me to get a divorce once again, that my
husband was unrighteous in my own living room where he lived
every day. I told them to get out and never come back.
Another member friend stopped by a few months later when
the dust had settled and told me that he was hoping I would die
so I could go to their heaven, after I turned down his job offer.
I wanted to witness to him and tell him what I knew about the
real Jesus and he raised his arms and told me he didn't want
to hear it. The church was his only little piece of happiness
he had and I wasn't going to destroy that. He contracted cancer
and died shortly after that.
I searched for other former Mormons and after six months
found a small group. One of the men was giving lessons on Mormonism,
giving programs in churches and showing videos. I was totally
grossed out when I learned what Mormonism was. And I got deeply
involved in investigating everything I could find on the history
of the church to become totally convinced forever that it is
a false, demonic doctrine. Many people leave and find themselves
going back begging for forgiveness. That wasn't going to happen
to me. It didn't because I worked hard to get it out of my system.
I went into major repentance bearing my soul to God and
people around me and also major self loathing for being such
a fool. My hard earned "self esteem" was smashed into
millions of pieces. It felt like a fast train which had hit a
wall head on at full speed ahead and I was sitting in the middle
of millions of pieces of myself and trying to figure out what
was salvageable. There was nothing to salvage but the Holy Spirit.
To keep me still dependent on others, Charismatic preachers
from Marilyn Hickey to Ken Copeland to Malcolm Smith seemed to
be balm on my wounds. Malcolm was teaching at the time that God
spades our garden every so often when there is no crop and has
to start over and replant. I was sixty two by now, start over
at that point? Yes, this battle was about eternal life not this
I realized it was never too late to start over. With a
clean slate it was easy to build pure Scripture into my heart.
I was buried in the Bible every day half a day at least, with
the Concordance and Lexicons and the whole Christ Jesus arose.
I was filled with joy unspeakable about my new future with Him
forever. How great Thou art. There was a song in my heart every
day to let me know I had my own safe place right in my own heart.
Kenneth Copeland was in and out of my trash can for several
weeks. I had to let go of everything which became clear as I
studied. They were all getting rich off poor dumb sheep.
When one leaves one's church which had been home for over
twenty years, one not only looses many friends but immediate
family members who don't understand why the change is necessary.
The family members had unwittingly felt pride that someone in
the family was going to church and now this.
I also had to confess to my children that I had brought
them up in a demonic church. God was extremely gracious to us
by bringing us all out.
Many former Mormons have to leave their families behind.
But it did bring emotional rifts. It hurt our position as parents.
We couldn't be trusted anymore by anyone, which was the most
devastating realization. Satan had ripped us off not only as
wholesome spiritual parents, but also off our Christian witness.
That was what I had lived for.
My marriage was in immediate trouble because we were putting
blame on each other instead of ourselves. We became overly zealous
in finding fault in everything and everyone. We stopped trusting
each other and people around us. Every time we went to church,
we would pick up spirits and fight all the way home and finally
end up moving on. Being in group situations became an impossibility.
Thank God my husband and I were both committed to God and
relied on Him to get us through the stormy sea. It was difficult
to comprehend and we had to truly believe that we had been totally
forgiven for all the wrong we had done for most of our lives
unwittingly. Our marriage was of long standing and had weathered
nothing but storms and it weathered this one.
After forty years of togetherness, we are now retired working
full time for the Lord sharing the Gospel whenever we get the
opportunity to make up for lost time. It has been seven years
and life feels wholesome again this time with the Holy Spirit
in full control. We moved away from home to start the healing
and it is working. We finally have that peace that is beyond
understanding. We study a few chapters of Scripture every day
and God promised the devil would flee, and he did. He cannot
stand a steady diet of the Gospel, the only weapon against him.
My story is a testimony of God's unwillingness to forsake
us once we are in His hands. He did not give up on us until He
had us out of darkness fully into the light. Our testimony of
the Gospel is powerful and we are looking forward to the wedding
to Christ Jesus.
Jesus said "Beware of false prophets, which come in
sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.. and
the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew,
and beat upon that house; and it fell not; for it was founded
upon a rock." (Matthew 7:15, 25) It is for real. Thanks
and God bless you for reading this witness. It is a life's work
of a couple of unknown Christian soldiers. Our names are unimportant.
The story is true.
December 1, 2004 Addendum: Cephas Ministry had its
beginnings in 1992 soon after we came out of darkness and it
has grown by leaps world wide and millions have read our pages.
We traveled through many valleys of tears and mountain top experiences
and we would not sell one moment of our life's experiences for
anything the world has to offer. We found we could not transfer
what we received from God to anyone else. Each person whom Jesus
has in His book whe yearns for Him, is on the road to Damascus
and will meet their maker in one way or another. After all He
puts the desires into our hearts to keep coming toward HIM and
only HIM. He is there waiting and will receive you as the Father
received His lost son with unfettered joy and blessings. You
simply can't lose with God.
On March 18, 2003, George's spirit quietly and beautifully
said good bye to go with the Holy Spirit and wait for me hopefully
in the Rapture which is soon to come. That day was another new
beginning for me which is another special story in the making.
I'm adding this addendum because a reader complained that we
were too squeamish to put our name to this testimony. Little
does she know that it had nothing to do with that. We wish for
Cephas Ministry, we founded, to continue on till the last day
. Scientologists don't leave a stone unturned to take people
down who divulge negative information about their organization.
A message from Jesus, spoken by Apostle Paul who led Jews
and Gentiles to Christ in the early Church and still does with
his teachings in the New Testament:
"Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. Now
I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and
keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you. But I would
have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the
head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth
his head. But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her
head uncovered dishonoureth her head (her man): for that is even
all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered,
let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be
shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he
is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory
of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman
of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the
woman for the man. For this cause ought the woman to have power
on her head because of the angels.
Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither
the woman without the man, in the Lord.
For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the
woman; but all things of God.
For first of all, when ye come together in the church, I hear
that there be divisions among you; and I partly believe it. For
there must be also heresies among you, that they which are approved
may be made manifest among you...
For I have received of the Lord that which also I delivered unto
you, That the Lord Jesus the same night in which he was betrayed
took bread: And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said,
Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do
in remembrance of me. After the same manner also he took the
cup, when he had supped, saying, This cup is the new testament
in my blood: this do ye, as oft as ye drink it, in remembrance
of me. For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup,
ye do shew the Lord's death till he come.
Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup
of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and
blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and
so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. For he
that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation
to himself, not discerning the Lord's body.
For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and
many sleep. For if we would judge ourselves, we should not
be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord,
that we should not be condemned with the world. Wherefore, my
brethren, when ye come together to eat, tarry one for another.
And if any man hunger, let him eat at home; that ye come not
together unto condemnation. And the rest will I set in order
when I come. (1 Corinthians 11:1..34 KJV) Amen
May God be with you and teach you as well.
In Christ Jesus,
George (+) and Rita Williams